


Rings

by Subtle_Shenanigans



Category: steven universe future - Fandom
Genre: Aftermath, Amethyst and Steven are like siblings, C-PTSD, Complex Emotions, Corruption, Corruption scars, Drabble, Gen, Headcanon, I AM SO PISSED MY PHONE FLIPPED OUT AND DELETED THIS, Not completed, Post-Episode: s06e19 I Am My Monster, STEVEN FINALLY HAS A THERAPIST, Steven has PTSD, but no promises of updates, diamond eye steven, do not repost to another site, here i go again, mental health, no beta we die like men, only his pupils though, the months leading up, timeline is back and forth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:41:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23367889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Subtle_Shenanigans/pseuds/Subtle_Shenanigans
Summary: Sometimes it’s okay to still be mixed up after.In which it’s been a month since Steven’s meltdown, and while things aren’t perfect, he knows it’ll be okay.
Relationships: Steven and Everyone
Comments: 23
Kudos: 170





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wow so the whole draft deleted and I am mad but I’ll try writing this again.
> 
> That finale, huh?  
> I don’t have the mental or emotional power to say all I want but. I loved the end of the series, and the series as a whole. Thanks to all who worked on it.
> 
>  _Might_ become multi-chapter.

It’s . . .over.

No.

It’s. . .okay.

It’s going to be okay.

* * *

He hasn’t looked, in the last month since. But he knows it’s there. That scar-tissue-like feeling as he runs his hand along it.

It’s - he could have asked Yellow to zap it, even though she’s only reduced horns. But, he finds he doesn’t want to.

For all the cracks in his skull, his arms; for every hit, every pain - there’s nothing to tell, nothing to see, as his body instantaneously heals every injury, and-

It’s funny. But he wants _it_. Wants proof of his-

His therapist explained it more than Connie’s Mom, explained more and why and what and-

He’ll probably tell them at his next session. But for now he needs-

It’s proof. Proof that something was wrong. That he needed help.

Proof that he deserved it. Proof that there were people there who gave it.

In a way, it was proof he deserved their love, their support; that he wasn’t a burden and it wasn’t out of pity.

Proof that he lived.   
  
Proof everything would be okay.

He lifts up the shirt and looks in the bathroom mirror, and sees:

From the side of his chest, trailing next to his heart and patching down, about a little over halfway through his ribs is rings in splotches of dark, purple-pink. He runs his fingers over it, matching the texture to the image.

Corruption scars, like any other un-corrupted gem.

(He’s conflicted: he’s relieved, and angry, and _scared_ -

And he wants to sob, because sometimes it feels unfair, but now everything is going to be okay, and they hadn’t been for so, _so_ long-

He let himself get this bad, but - it’s not all his fault; people have had hand in his pain, and they tell him he shouldn’t blame himself.

And. . .they're here now, and they want to help, and he loves them.)

Steven drops his shirt, though his hand still clenches over the scar. “It’s okay,” he murmurs, wiping his eyes.

He looks up at his reflection; sees pink-tinged eyes and his worn expression. But. . .its also brighter than its been in months.

Thinks of all the people that care for him.

“It’s okay.”


	2. Gaze across the water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon about his eyes: they’re burgundy. As a mix between human-brown and diamond-Pink.
> 
> Also that the pupils, while normally black, have been veering towards diamond-shaped for awhile.
> 
> Also, these will be time jumping back and forth. 
> 
> This is all supposed to read as sibling-like.

The sand is cool, in the shade of the temple. He’s alone, only guarded by Obsidian’s likeness.

He sighs and lets sand run through his hands; no sound but crying seabirds, and roiling waves.

It’s. . .peaceful.

_But do you deserve peace?_

He ignores the thought. That’s what he should do, right? Until - at least until his first therapy appointment Tuesday?

He wonders when Bismuth and her helpers will fix the house. Knows she’s waiting, to give him some time. It’s only been. . .

Maybe less than two weeks? More than eight days?

Steven snorts, hand on his head. He’s been sleeping on and off the past few days, mostly, so time is a little wonky.

And it seems it slipped away again because someone is walking up to him, and that shuffle can only be Amethyst. They’re back, he guesses.

“Hey man; mind if I sit?”

He shrugs.

She plops down next to him and he keeps turned away, avoiding her eyes.

She doesn’t say anything - thank _Pearl_ \- but just kicks her feet in the sand, and-

(Okay, That suspiciously sounded like she picked up a seashell of some sort and just crunched into it, but he’s known Amethyst all his life, so he really shouldn’t be so surprised.)

“So how was school?” Steven leans back on his hands, looking up into the sky.

He senses Amethyst shrugging. “Good. I’m only teaching during two periods this semester, so I got off early.”

Steven squeezes his eyes shut. Why hadn’t he known? Had he been so self-absorbed he didn’t know Ame had changed her schedule-?

“Ow.” He glares at her. “You punched me!”

Amethyst studies him, then grins broadly; he wants to duck his gaze away but finds he . . .just doesn’t?

“Oh, c’mon! That was barely a tap. I know what you can take.”

“Yeah, but it was rude!”

He rubs his arm to make a point, and her gaze softens. “Hey, don’t take this weird, but. . .its nice to, like, actually look at you again.”

Steven feels flushed, starts to turn away and hand raising to cover his eyes. But Amethyst grabs his hand. “Wait!”

He pauses.   
  
She sighs. “Look, I’m sorry if I made you. . .self-conscious? But if it’s about your eyes. . .you know I don’t care right? Like, it doesn’t bother me.”

They both know it’s hard to notice unless you’re up close, so he’s surprised she doesn’t say something dismissive along those lines.

His eyes have always been rich burgundy, human, warm, like his dad’s. And while different during his. . .distraught state, it hadn’t been much of a concern because everything was a mess then.

But now, up close, he could clearly see that the human pupil had warped shape, into a diamond. Still black, still hard to see against the burgundy, but _there_.

“. . .Steven? Are you okay? Was I-?”

“No,” he cuts her off. Then, finally, turns to meet her gaze. It’s hesitant, but not hurt. He smiles softly, gives her hand a squeeze. “It’s . . .it’s actually fine.”


	3. Traces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s traces, left, lingering like shells in the sand.
> 
> In which a hybrid recently un-corrupted still has a little wyrm left in him.

It’s lingering on his breath, and he pauses in shock.

“. . .Steven? Are you okay?”

Had Pearl not heard it? Steven _knows_ he felt it. A ragged rumble from his throat, irritated.

(To be fair, he _was_ irritated. Pearl had been so insistant over little things, too much so, and Steven’s raw nerves couldn’t handle her at the moment.)

“Uh. . .yeah.” He shook his head to clear it. _Don’t worry about it, Universe. Don’t make it a big deal._

Pearl seemed unconvinced, but let it drop. “If you’re sure.”

* * *

The next time, it’s a startled hiss, as Cat-Steven jumps out of nowhere onto his lap.

She gazes, blinking with one eye, and then, unconcerned, curls up in his lap.

He pets her absentmindedly, ignoring his shaking.

That had been too serpentine, for his tastes.

* * *

“Why can’t you just leave me alone!” Is what he wants to shout, cornered, afraid. Sometimes it’s too much, too much, that he doesn’t deserve and doesn’t want-

But instead of words it’s a garbled snarl, far deeper and reverberating than Lion’s. And Garnet takes a step back in surprise.

Immediately (well, when the shock is worn off), he apologizes, crying, and trying not to feel phantom half-memories of scales plating his body.

Garnet asks him if she can touch him.

He nods yes.

And her hug helps him remember his size.

* * *

* * *

“. . .so how‘s it going?”

Steven shifts the phone pressed between his shoulder and his ear; he’s trying a new recipe, a vegetarian Shepard’s pie, and would rather not drop the phone in it.

“I. . .may or may not have growled at Amethyst today.”

“Oh. And are you. . .okay with that.”

He shrugs, realizes she can’t see it. “Uh, I guess? I’ll be talking with my therapist about it. But, I guess it’s not uncommon for Gems? I mean, I vaguely remember them doing stuff like that. It’s just. . .”

“You kept falling back into those half-memories,” Connie finishes for him.

“Yeah. And, well, I know Jasper and Centi have issues with it to. More often than others. It’s been tapering out though, for me, so that’s good?”

He hears her flip another page. He finishes adding peas and carrots.

“You sound unsure.”

He makes sure the mix is good, starts topping it with mashed potatoes.   
  
“Well. . .” _Be honest_ “I kinda liked how, I could get my point across? Without having to find words? It’s. . .confusing.”

He hears her hum. ”Well, sounds like it. But it also sounds like a normal gem reaction? I mean, you’re still human too. . .”

He snorts. Notices the trill in it, too quiet for a normal human to hear. “You see what I mean?”

She chuckles back. “Yeah.” A pause. “You want to keep talking about this, or something else?”

He puts the ‘pie’ in the oven, sits at the island counter to think. He. . .didn't feel that bad, talking about it. But he didn’t really feel motived to continue either.

“Nah. What are you studying now?” He finally decided, swinging his legs into the counter. It felt good to be in control of something.

“Well, I’m planning on taking AP. . .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have headcanons, specifically about the more animalistic-qualities, which are present in corrupted gems. And for Steven, being a hybrid? A self-corrupted hybrid?
> 
> So yeah. This.
> 
> By the way!!! Like any corrupted Gem, he does not remember his actual moments during corruption. Just before and after. He does get snippets of feelings sometimes, though, since he was still experiencing things while corrupted - he just wasn’t fully mentally ‘there’.
> 
> (Also Steven can purr fight me; he has so many cats in his life.)


	4. Lion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> APPARENTLY IVE HAD A DRAFT HERE SINCE APRIL WHOOPSIE.
> 
> I kinda lost motivation to write for SU anymore for awhile, so I will probably mark as complete after posting this chapter. That doesn’t mean there isn’t a chance of an update though later on!

“Ugh. . .”

He wakes up to a wet nose pressing into his face, sniffing.   
  
Shoving the face away gently, he sits up. “Lion, _please_.”

Lion flicks an ear and sits back but otherwise doesn’t do anything else.

This is the third time this week Steven has been woken up before noon by the big cat. He’s sure Lion is being helpful in his own way, but Steven was _tired_. He just. . .just wanted to sleep in for a bit.

But Lion had other plans it seemed, because this time, he had picked up and dropped Cat Steven on him. She _mrrped_.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighed. “Okay Lion. You win. I’ll get up.”

He missed Lion’s ears perking up.

Steven situated himself, setting Cat Steven onto the bed beside himself. She stretched luxuriously, a shudder running to her tail tip. He gave her a scratch behind the ear, and she purred into it.

Then Lion was gently nipping at his pajama pants, urging him on.

Steven huffed a laugh, “okay! Okay! I’m up!”

He threw on some comfy clothes for the day, nothing too hot. But it felt nice with the cool breeze coming off the ocean; to be protected in the blue sweater.

. . .it was nice to just be, for a moment.

Then he yawned, ignoring the feeling of his slightly-bigger-than- _before_ canines. Lion copied his yawn.

“Pfft.” Seems like Lion was tired too. Didn’t cats sleep, like, fourteen hours a day?

Eh, he’d Goggle it later.

Steven puts his hands on his hips, looking into Lion’s eyes. “Well? I’m up and dressed; now what?”

Lion went downstairs.  
  
Steven followed.

It was quiet, but that was to be expected. It’s been two and a half months since. . .it had happened. But while Steven had some bad days, he was more or less stable, and on his way to healing. He didn’t need anyone on standby like before.

(And he was so, so glad that they all took effort to make sure it was demeaning or like he was being babysat. That it was so he could have immediate help he needed. Dad still texted him more than he used to, as did the other gems. But there was work to be done, and Steven assured them he would get ahold of one of them if he really needed the help.)

And anyways, Lion seemed determined all of a sudden to make sure Steven got what he needed done on days he didn’t want to get out of bed.

Like breakfast.

He didn’t have much energy today, so he would probably grab something quick - An apple and cheese? Yeah, that’d work. And then later when he had more energy he’d make something more sufficient.

Lion lay curled on the floor, watching lazily. Steven glanced at Cat Steven’s bowls and found both okay, and grabbed one of the premium packaged meat* they bought for Lion.

He glanced over at the pink behemoth. “Hey Lion, you wanna eat with me or stay here?”

In answer, Lion got up with a rumbly huff. He followed Steven as they went up to the greenhouse to eat their breakfast.

It was nice, to have someone with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *either can be safely processed raw meat or those wet pet foods you refrigerate. I’ll leave it to your imagination.
> 
> I don’t know what the plan was for this one.
> 
> Yes, Goggle instead of Google.
> 
> Soft chapter.


End file.
